Nonsensical...

 So this is what the middle of April looks like, this year, where I call home. I'm really not complaining, because, although not fun, it's also not that rare, comes with the literal territory, and it's basically angry rain. 

Mother Nature is going through some stuff and is letting off steam. 

And, yes, the first photo does depict a traffic light in the middle of absolute nowhere. But there is a camera attached to it, so unless you want a very expensive ticket, you stop at that red light. And sit there. For about 31/2 minutes. Without another vehicle in sight. Because they will be doing construction in the area. In 3 days. 

So, yeah.

Nonsensical.

There seems to be a bit of that going around.

Like buying autographed bibles, of all things. And not even autographed by Jesus or anything, just a guy who is, at best, a misogynistic serial adulterer with serious racist tendencies, at worst, well, he's been found guilty civilly of sexual assault and fraud, and will likely be found guilty criminally of at least a few things before the end of the year. 

Nonsensical.

Like trying to accuse, and/or impeach leaders with 'evidence' pulled from easily provable lies. 

Nonsensical.

Showing desire to take our society backwards, stripping away the hard-earned rights of women, people of the queer community, and other vulnerable swaths of humanity. Pushing for these dark-age changes for no other reason but fear. Fear of the strength that emanates from these warriors. Fear of true equality.

Nonsensical.

Voting and fighting against programs that will help feed hungry kids, house those who are struggling, make going to work more affordable through subsidized childcare, and make prescriptions and dental care more affordable. The very things that you agree should be a priority. 

Nonsensical.

Continually denying the fact that climate change and weather are not the same thing. Regardless of all kinds of data put forth from all over the world by experts in the field... for decades now. 

Nonsensical.

All of the conspiracy nonsense that continues to infiltrate the minds of those who lack the skill of critical thinking. The narrative that continually has to change to keep up with all the things that aren't coming to fruition for them. I mean, how many raptures were supposed to have happened by now? I've lost count. According to some rabbit-hole dwellers I know, we should all be dying by the thousands because of vaccines, windmills, and 5G. 

Nonsensical.

Actually believing that you can 'make' a kid queer. Ridiculous. No more than you can 'make' a kid straight. Reading queer authors, watching inclusive movies and tv, hanging out with drag queens. having queer friends can NOT change how your kid is hard-wired. No amount of hanging out with tall people will 'make' me taller. No matter how many books I read about people with straight hair by authors with straight hair, it can't 'make' my hair straight. You get my point. 

Nonsensical.

This is definitely NOT as important by any stretch of the imagination, but being rude to people in the service industry, thinking it will get you your way, somehow.  Just stop it. It is NOT going to magically make anybody want to help you, even if you have a legitimate complaint. And NO you are NOT always right. And YES you can be asked to abide by policies. And YES you can be trespassed/banned from private businesses. And NO you are NOT more important or better than any other customer, or any employee.

Nonsensical. 

It's Complicated... But Simple... Really

 Hi,

Women's bodies and who has the authority to dictate what is and is not allowed to take place within them somehow always seems to become part of the political fabric. 

Why? I have no idea where it began, but I can tell you without any hesitation that the trajectory it is on is nothing short of terrifying. 

Somewhere along the timeline the distortion of power, the hunger for it, and because they could physically do so, the males of our species began to revel in that power, and deciding that they couldn't take the chance of losing it, began to chip away at the power of women.

They designated themselves our protectors. But, what are you supposedly protecting us from? The truth is.... other men. 

They label us as too emotional, too needy, too soft, lacking reason. If those don't fit, we get bossy, conceited, cold, stuck-up, and bitchy. 

They want to be the ones who give us permission.

We needed their permission to vote.

We needed their permission to own property.

We needed their permission to get a credit card in our own name.

We needed their permission to enter the workforce.

We needed their permission to take charge of our own bodies.

Now there is a resurgence and appetite to strip us of these hard-earned rights. Why?

It's complicated... but simple... really.

They are threatened by the groundswell of support women are giving each other. We are finding our feet, and with each generation, our young women are stepping into an independence never known before. They are discovering, quite handily, that they don't need men. They may choose to share their lives with them, seek a partner in them, but they don't NEED them.

Although pay equity is still a far cry from actually being equal, it sits at a level where financial independence is more possible than ever before. As women chip away at the misogyny that has been ingrained in us since birth, we are becoming more supportive of each other. We no longer look at each other as competition... we are each other's support. 

In heterosexual relationships, women still carry more than our share of the mental load. Not only are we now expected to bring in a good portion of the bacon, but we are still expected to be the CEO of the household. We are the ones tracking all the things. Groceries, scheduling, social life, doctor's appointments, household chores, kids, if we have them, bills, and knowing where everything that everybody needs is at all times. Oh, and still be youthful and sexy. 

You still see it. You still hear it.

Someone sees a dad at the park, shopping (insert activity here) with the kids and he's 'such a good dad.'

The male partner 'helps' with household chores.

Mom goes out, dad is 'babysitting.'

Why is it up to the woman to always know what needs to be done? 

If we are so weak, emotional, soft, and unreasonable, how have we managed to manage all of this crap and hold down jobs, besides? 

And I haven't even touched on the emotional strength it takes to be female.

Just as we are entering the turmoil of puberty, we get hit with what has been described as our monthly visitor, our rag, our curse, visit from aunt fanny, a ride on the cotton pony, crime scene down under, you know... our period. Some have horrible cramps every single time, some live on the edge of hemorrhaging every time, some pass out, some become iron deficient, a lucky few, barely notice them.

And that's just the bleeding.

So many suffer with different severities of PMS, ranging from mildly emotional to barely contained rage.

Then, after all of this bullshit, we have to deal with menopause and the hellish nightmare fuel that brings, but that's for another day...

But, we carry on. We go to school, write exams, go to work, still do all the things that are expected of us, all the while being told maybe we should smile more. 

It's about this time, as puberty begins, and sickeningly, sometimes even before, that we begin to garner the attention of males. Some of that attention comes from our peers, who are also trying to get through puberty but sadly, so many are doing so under the influence of those with poison perceptions. Some of  this attention, a lot of this attention, comes from older males, some old enough to be our dads and grandpas. 

These are the men who somehow think they have a right to an opinion of us, and can't seem to suppress the urge to vocalize these opinions. They have opinions on what we are wearing, how we should respond to their unwanted attention, the expression we should show on our faces, how we should walk, where we should walk, what we should be doing, how we should be doing it, what they would like to do to us, and how we should like whatever that is. 

These are the men who think they have a right to touch us. A brush, an 'accidental' slip of the hand, blocking our movements, grabbing, groping... most of us have experienced at least this... some of us... much worse. 

Our heads can only ever be on a permanent swivel when we are in public. I can tell you, it's not other women we are watching for. 

What is complicated are the health issues that stem from the female reproductive system. More women have miscarriages that gets talked about in the open, and there are real health risks involved. Not only have you suffered the emotional anguish of it, but there is a definite danger of infection, becoming septic, if the right care isn't provided. This care is being banned in some places very close to home. There are those, where I call home, who would like to take us down that same road if given the chance. They echo the sentiments of this backward thinking.  Terrifying. 

What is complicated is the physical and mental health of rape and incest victims who are forced to carry to term a forced pregnancy and forced birth, regardless of age or circumstance. Chronic trauma can only break a soul, then wonder why she is scarred. Then wonder why she can't trust. 

But it's simple.

We are capable. We are capable of deciding what to wear, where to walk, what expression we have on our face, what we eat, what we drink, whether we want to be touched, if, when, where, and with whom we will have sex, and, if we want to give birth.

None of these decisions need permission from anyone. 

We are more than capable. We continue to prove it multiple times every single day. 

It's complicated only because men want it that way. Not all men, but they don't wear nametags, so how do we know? 

Not all men, but obviously enough of them that we are having to have this conversation.... again. 

It's simple... if we vote that way. We hold the power to make the changes we need to see. All we have to do is use it. 

Men are not required to have governmental permission for absolutely anything regarding their bodily autonomy, why should we?

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May my granddaughters live in a time where they can walk at night without fear.

May they live in a time when they are never seen as prey, only loved, held dear.

May my grandsons live in a time when there is no pressure to conquer, to hunt, to 'score.'

May they live in the understanding of real partnership, to share the mental load, be more.

Food Is Not A Weapon...

 

Hi.

So I will never claim to be an expert in much of anything. I learn what I can about international affairs with all of its intricacies and nuances. But things are complicated, never black and white, instead, many shades of every colour of the rainbow.

But, I do consider myself someone who values caring for our most vulnerable, no matter where they live, who they love, or what their situation. Kids live high on that list of vulnerable people.

When we hear of food and those providing it to children and other innocent people in parts of the world where unnecessary, unholy war is raging, being wiped out, it just doesn't want to compute. World Food Kitchen is an incredible organization that simply doesn't care where in the world you are, if you are suffering because of a natural disaster, war, or poverty. They don't care if you are religious or not, or what religion you may observe. they couldn't care less what your politics are, or through what colour lens you choose to see the world. They ONLY care if you are hungry, and then do everything within their power to rectify that.

Food is NOT a weapon... in war, or anything else.

When governments see that children are showing up to school hungry and want to put programs in place to make sure they are fed, there should be zero arguments against that. It's not a political game piece, with which to play your latest game of 'gottcha.' These are actual, real, living, breathing kids who, through no fault of their own, are hungry. What I find completely mindblowing is that the very same exact people who want to block programs like this are the exact same ones who claim to be pro-life, and are getting their panties in a bunch over queer content of anything to 'protect the children.' Yet, when they are faced with a real-world, real-time problem that little ones are actually facing, that they have the means to help fix, they want to prevent it from happening. 

Yet, they refuse to see the hypocrisy. 

Food is not a weapon.

Food is not something that children need to earn. Nourishment is not something that should be withheld for punishment. (breaks from junk food snacks excluded) No one, but especially kids, should ever have to pay for food with hugs, kisses, or other forms of affection.

Food is the most basic of human rights. Why aren't more people working to do something about humanity's hunger? Pro-life? Then where is your follow-through? You want them born, but then don't care if they get to eat?

Food is not a weapon. 

Poverty is not the fault of the poor. It's a symptom of our society. We want to treat billionaires who pay poverty-level wages like they are some exclusive group of special geniuses who have accomplished something grander than the exploitation of the workers that make and keep them rich. They pay workers too little to live on and then want to shit on the programs that provide the safety nets needed to fill the canyon-sized gaps left by their greed and blatant lack of decency. 

They keep them poor, keep them hungry, keep them afraid to quit. It's a classic abusive relationship. 

Food is not a weapon. 

The biggest worry for any child should be what story to read, what craft to create, what dance to learn, or what game to play. 

Food is not a weapon.

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We Live In A World...

 

Hi!

It seems every generation, as they reach an age that sees them at the end of their time in the workforce, as they have another 'coming of age' moment, as the time comes to pass the baton of running the place to the next, younger generation, it seems the ones relinquishing power, are completely convinced of the incompetence of the generation next in line. 

Now, if that were to be true, that the whole of these upcoming generations are incompetent, soft, misguided, and whatever else you may think they are, does that not fall on how they were raised? At least, somewhat?

Now, I don't know about you, but I am a GenX parent who raised 4 millennials. They are far from soft, anything but incompetent, and if misguided means they are open and accepting of humans being given the space to thrive exactly as they wish to, who gage people on how they treat others rather than the size of their bank account, then my hubby and I misguided the hell out of them, for sure. 

The greatest generation felt the silent generation would run things into a ditch, the silent generation felt that the hippies of the baby boomer generation were going to turn things to shit for sure, boomers never held much hope for Gen X, I mean we were far too independent, were born with precious few fucks to give, and let's face it, have a reputation of being fairly feral.

This independent, feral group are the ones who have raised these millennials and Gen Z kids. 

Millennials are now in their thirties and early forties. They are raising the young end of Gen Z and the Gen Alpha kids. The kids that had formative years shaped by a worldwide pandemic, and all that it entailed. The kids who watched an insurrection on live tv. The kids that have witnessed what Hatfield and McCoy politics does, and how it filtres through into our lives. 

No, I think these next generations are exactly what the world needs. 

They are paying attention, they are watching what doesn't work. They are working solutions because hustle and resourcefulness is where they shine. They are probably more adept at rolling with the punches, thinking on the fly, and collaborating than we could ever hope to be.

They have had to have roommates because of things like student debt and the fact that a full-time job can't keep flesh and bone together without them. They know hustle, because side gigs have gone from hobby to necessity. 

They've watched us make our mistakes and have learned from them, just like we learned what not to do from those who came before us. 

Just because things have been done the same way for a long time, absolutely does not mean that it's been the best way, the only way, or can't be improved upon. 

I have no doubt that the generations to come will find ways to secure:

-bodily autonomy for all.

-the separation of church and government

-anti-hate laws

-the end to racism and discrimination of all kinds (or at least get us closer than we've ever been)

-our world's longevity through finding working solutions to the climate crises

-education that truly prepares people for the world they are growing into

It's easy to paint the world with doom and gloom, especially when there are those out there spreading conspiracy theory nonsense to the masses. It's hard to keep up with some of these theories because as the predictions never seem to come to pass, more strings are added or taken away, desperately trying to tie together whatever crazy tidbit will help their narrative seem more plausible in that moment. 

It's like trying to start a collection of unicorn poop. They keep searching, but can never quite find it. 

There are those who feel these young generations are somehow "brainwashed." Other favourites used are 'indoctrinated" or "groomed."

All of the above may be true, but not in the sense they mean.

They believe our kids and grandkids being accepting, inclusive, open, fiercely anti-racist, and non-judgmental constitutes brainwashing, indoctrinating and grooming.  Personally, I think it's just raising them to be decent humans. 

To me 'brainwashed" is something that happens when a person gets to a poison information saturation point, insisting things are true regardless of proof to the contrary. And I do mean real proof. Data put forth, peer studied, reviewed by experienced experts in the field, and tested. You know...proof. Example: The earth is not flat. The moon landing really happened. Covid is real, and the vaccines have kept countless people not only alive but from needing hospital care.These kids question everything.

Indoctrination. This one is a bit tricky because so much of our society could be constituted as indoctrination. From the first time you hear or find yourself spouting the line we all swear we will never use the "Because I said so,' we are either the indoctrinated or the indoctrinator. As soon as we ask someone to believe or obey something uncritically, without question, or as soon as we accept something in that same way, indoctrination happens It happens all the time in organized religion. You are asked to accept. To question is blasphemous. It happens in some workplaces. It happens.

Now are these younger generations indoctrinated any more than we were. I doubt it severely. These kids are more aware, more assured, more confident, more likely to stand up, as they are the first generations that have been raised knowing that they matter, that what they have to say has merit, and their ideas carry weight. Truth be told, these young ones are far less likely to become indoctrinated into anything. Period.

Groomed. A buzzword that has been repurposed to fit a narrative. Knowing the connotation attached to this word, the right-wing, book-banning, queer-discriminating fearmongers have twisted it to try and sully the movement of acceptance that these kids are fostering. They want to take a word that depicts what sexual predators do to their victims to prime them for the horrors that come next, and attach it to teaching empathy, kindness, compassion and acceptance of self and others. They want to connect these beautiful ideals to something so incredibly vile. It's sickening, really.

We live in a world where kindness is more abundant than cruelty. And that's a good thing. It's true. All you have to do is allow yourself to see it. 

If you choose to focus on the dark, pretty soon it becomes all you can see. 

Helping polish the shine on those who have been made to hide their light can only make our world brighter. Helping others sparkle will never dampen your glow, it will just add to the brilliance. 

We live in a world... so live. 

Change Is Inevitable.... Thankfully!

 Hi!

Well, it's officially Spring! Soon the snowbanks will be reduced to puddles, and fragile hints of leaves will begin to make a show of themselves.

Soon... right?

The thing is, I don't think the snowbanks got the memo. 

They are hanging on, stubbornly, fighting the inevitable, sticking around, their once pristine, untarnished, pure, white mounds becoming a dirt and salt-laced grungy mess.

That mess will eventually dissipate and become part of the groundwater. The way nature intended, leaving room for new growth, and a warmth only fully appreciated after the harshness of a particularly bitter winter.

A lot of people, well, probably most people where I live, absolutely enjoy winter. The snow, the cold, the dark. They love skiing, sledding, hockey, skating, the long nights... don't get me wrong, after all, I am Canadian, I get it. Winter does carry a semblance of romance and quiet tranquility, what with its cozy fires and hot chocolate and all. But there are those of us who simply wish it didn't last as long as it does.

The beginning of this annual melt is a fabulous reminder that nothing ever stays the same. Both things we wish would, and the things we appreciate do not. 

It's a reminder that sometimes the transition from one thing to the next can be ugly, messy, and can happen in fits and starts. There are steps backward that are sometimes necessary so that things can end up the way they need to be. Progress doesn't always happen through forward-only steps. More often than not, a few steps back are needed to let things soak in, so the scar-causing damage of the run-off that can happen if things move along too quickly...doesn't. Things change at the rate they are meant to. 

It's all progress.

It can feel scary, change, progress. Especially if it takes us into unfamiliar territory, to places we have a hard time understanding.

I still see on different platforms, people's fear of what they don't understand being thrown around. It's sad, because all of the information needed to dissipate that fear and turn it into empathy and compassion is readily available to all. But, for some reason, some insist on clinging to the antiquated misinformation of eras most of us are trying desperately to leave behind.

Change is inevitable. Thankfully. Acceptance, inclusivity, compassion, kindness, and a sense of community are what drives the next generations. 

Racism will end.

Misogyny will end.

Queerphobia will end.

If you are one of the people clinging to any piece of these misguided ideals for whatever reason, it's time to accept that it's Spring. Time for new beginnings, time to let it all melt away. You can do it in fits and starts if you need to, stepping back every now and again to get perspective, but let it all melt. 

At this point, you are clinging to nothing but the salt-laced grungy mess that doesn't belong here anymore. 

Embrace the new growth... it's happening... now you just need to decide whether or not you get left behind to wallow in the muck. 

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May we all come to understand that change is what's necessary to make the world a better place to live.

For ALL of us. 

Springing Forward...But Take Your Time

 Hi!

So the clocks have changed in many parts of the world, springing forward, so to speak. Where I happen to call home, our clocks stay the same all year long. 

I've never fully understood what changing the clocks twice a year is supposed to accomplish. Hours are not lost or gained by the position of the short hand of a timepiece. Timing is what changes, not actual time.

Time is still going to be what you make it. An hour shift makes no real difference. 

Time is currency. We spend it cultivating joy, We spend it healing from loss. We spend it nurturing relationships. We spend it at jobs to make money to support our lives.

Time is precious. Time is never guaranteed. Time is what we all take for granted at different points in our lives. 

How we spend our time changes depending on what stage of life we are living. 

When we are children, it means nothing. We spend it following whatever agenda the grown-ups in our lives lay out for us. When we become adolescents, it crawls. We are in such a hurry to be those grown-ups, thinking we know everything, knowing nothing, blissfully ignorant about the reality of what's to come. Confident in our fearlessness. Thankfully. Without that, none of us would ever be willing to learn to fly.

When we become those grown-ups, reality hits. We begin to realize that the freedoms we thought would be automatic when we were teens are laced with responsibility. Our time is still not our own. We spend it educating ourselves, forging paths that will earn money, creating and nurturing mature and not-so-mature relationships, some of us become parents, some of us don't, some of us get married, some of us don't, our paths may greatly differ, but we all use our time currency, sometimes wisely, sometimes, not so much. 

As older adults, perspective on time changes once more. The fact that there is more time behind us than in front of us becomes more real as we reflect upon the lives we've built. Does that mean we are done? Absolutely not! I think it means we simply respect the passage of time more, appreciate it more, and become a bit more careful with this precious currency. 

How we choose to spend this priceless currency matters. Life is too short to spend too much of it doing things that don't light us up. Make sure you're spending yours the way that means most to you. It's yours. It's not infinite. Use it wisely. 

Spring forward, do back flips, fall back, learn to juggle, take up ballet. Take. Your. Time. 

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May we all hold our time close to our hearts, treating it with the respect it deserves... always.

So... International Women's Day...

             So this is what March looks like where I live... and no that is not a child by that snowbank that is my youngest daughter... who is 5'8" tall...Yeah.

But that's beside the point.

It's time to celebrate International Women's Day...

So let's do that, shall we?

I think, with that in mind, it's time to, once again, take a look at what women's equality means, and some of the fairly warped views some have about that.  

There are so many big things, big discrepancies such as bodily autonomy, wage gaps, public safety issues, and the blatant misogyny that still thrives in so many aspects of our lives. But, there are also the little things. The remarks, the judgments, the assumptions, and the under-estimations.

Why do we still live in a time when most of the medical research is done using men's anatomy and then 'adjusted' for women. It makes no sense.

Why are men offered  medications to numb the pain for certain medical procedures and women are simply warned that 'this is going to be a bit uncomfortable." 

Why are women still earning $.87 on the dollar compared to men for doing the same damn jobs?

Why is it assumed that every woman wants to have kids, or be married or NOT be single?

Why are so many men threatened by the fact that more women are finding happiness being single and not a Mom? 

Why are people still confused by the notion of women's equality? It does NOT mean we want to BE men, it just means we want to be treated with equal respect, have an equal voice, and enjoy ALL of the rights and privileges given to men.

So many strides have been made, but there are those out there who want to turn back the clock, stripping us of rights we have fought so incredibly long and hard for. 

Not all masculinity is toxic, but those infected, are most threatened by female empowerment and want to stop our progress, want to drag us backward.

We haven't had the right to our own bank accounts all that long.

It wasn't that long ago that we couldn't own property on our own.

It hasn't been that long since we needed permission from our husbands to make medical decisions. 

It wasn't long ago we couldn't go into a bar without a man.

It wasn't that long ago that we couldn't vote.

It was within my lifetime that abortions were illegal, forcing women, regardless of under what circumstance, or at what age they became pregnant, to either become mothers, give the baby up for adoption, or risk their lives in some horrible back alley 'clinic.'

We are sadly, still leaps and bounds away from the courts defending us properly against things like rape, marital rape, and other forms of domestic violence.

When surveyed, women's biggest fear from men remains that they will kill us.

Men's biggest fear from women? Getting laughed at. 

We have come a long way, but are so far from getting to where we need to be.

Until women are able to stop taking precautions every time they leave the house.

Until we are as safe as men are in public, no matter where we are or what we are wearing.

Until we get paid at the same level.

Until we have the same bodily autonomy as men.

Until we stop being followed, having cameras shoved up our skirts, rubbed against, groped, forced into unwanted conversations, or made to feel we owe you our time, attention, or affection.

Until we can eliminate these things, we arent' there yet. 

We need to get there for our daughters, for our granddaughters, and for our sons and grandsons, because true equality is fantastic for all. 

No meaning no isn't good enough.

Coerced consent is NOT consent. Enthusiastic consent is the only kind that counts.

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May we teach our littles a better way to interact.

May we teach them core respect is the only way, no other way to be, no other way to act. 

May we save them from the work of unlearning the toxic things we were told.

May they become adults immune to the poisons we were all sold.

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